Dave After Dentist

So I went to the Dentist today. And now I'll give you the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth... yeah I think I'm going to hold back from my stand-up career for now...

It was just a check-up and yet I still felt an element of trepidation, climbing the hard, grey, echoing staircase up towards the ultra pure-white door that seemed to grow larger and more menacing with every step. While simultaneously providing a barrier, the door also presented a chance to get far from that place, an opportunity to turn away from the house of pain. No-one had seen me yet, the door made me invisible to those torturers that dwelled behind it and I could just slip away unnoticed, and postpone the agony for another day, another week, year, lifetime.

I half-turned away...and as I glanced back, the pearl gateway seemed to mock me, to laugh at my inhibitions and scorned at my eagerness to flee.
And so, I breathed, deeply.
I faced the door and opened it, an expression of indifference and quiet boredom on my face as I was greeted at the reception:
"David, I presume?"
With barely any hesitation I replied
"Yes..."
And before I knew it, I was whisked into Dental Surgery Room 2, and was staring up at the peeling paper that covered the ceiling above...

The Dentist's Chair.

I thought I had enough time to compose myself, to sit in the waiting room, appearing to flick through a National Geographic while silently psyching myself up to face... what was to come.
I stole a glance at the table next to me, and immediately regretted it as all manner of needle sharp, murderous tools glinted back at me.
My stomach churned, and my hands grasped tightly, the arm-rests that tried to deceive you, presenting it as a place of comfort, not torture.

"Just tilt your head back for me David...a little more.. a little more...and to the right please.... good...now, nice and wide"

The horrible mini-vacuum sucks all the moisture from my mouth, as the dentist collects his deadly tools ready to begin his assault on my molars... I stare up into the bright yellow light that illuminates my mouth, and brace myself.

*90 seconds later*

"Everything seems to be fine David, we'll see you again in 6 months"

:O

...yeah I may have over-hyped it a little, so sue me.

Oh and the video is I think its fair to say an internet phenomenon with over 15 million views or something, called David after Dentist. My experience wasn't quite so funny as his.... oh well

/Dave